Heart

I feel like I need to really get to the heart of this issue.

From the moment you are aware of your baby inside you, you are connected. You may not feel it right away but that heart connection is there.

Unfortunately, due to circumstance or even just worldly conditioning, we can be so easily detached from the tiny life growing inside.

I urge you, if you are considering abortion, please, for yourself, stop and feel that connection., before you can only feel its absence.
Take time and be aware of who is growing inside you.

Regardless of how they came to be there, they are there and they are a part of you. You are connected in more then just physical ways. You are connected by the heart.

You will never regret the decision of life, but the decision of death is one with boundless consequences.

Stop and forget the pressures of the world, your partner, your finance and your circumstance. Be fully aware of what you are doing and of this little life dependent on you. They say the most unsafe place for a baby is in her mothers womb. You hold the power of life and death. There are so many options and help available to you. Dont be fooled into believing you are alone.

And always remember there are alternatives to abortion.

Please read 'My Story' at the bottom of the page.

( see links at the bottom of the page for Help and Adoption info)

You cant talk about that........ you're a Christian!!!!

I find it so funny how the world views sex is such a 'worldly' thing. Something not often heard of in the positive when discussing Christians, when really it was something made by God and made to be enjoyed.

The consensus seems to be that just because you believe sex should be confined to marriage then you believe it should be something that isn't talked about.
I was watching a cartoon, intended for adults, which was having a laugh about teenagers choosing to wear purity rings and remain virgins until marriage. It was really portraying the whole idea of abstinence as a ridiculous pipe dream for anyone to think it was possible. It seems the idea that we, as humans, are able or willing to deny ourselves immediate gratification is seen as impossible.

While the show was merely in jest, it is easy to see the underlying misunderstandings that some hold to this idea.
How much pain does this world experience because sex is used incorrectly!? Think about it, the multiple number of STDS out there, molestation, rape, impotency not to mention the low self esteem/low self image, heart breaks and in some cases suicides and so much more that are attributed to sex's misuse. No wonder sex is seen as a low brow, dirty, 'cant talk about that' subject, instead of the beautiful thing it was intended to be.

I believe the Lord created sex to be an expression of love between a husband and wife, intended to bring them closer and create an intimacy between them that they dont share with anyone else. It was made to comfort, heal, pleasure and create a lasting bond between them and to populate the earth.

The funniest part is, I think that true Christian husband and wives have a much more fulfilling and amazing sex life with each other then most other couples out there. There is an understanding of the importance of sex in marriage and its intent.
Sex is such an intimate thing at its core. It is the exposing of ones hidden self, making yourself completely vulnerable to another person. What a gift to give someone. A part of yourself.

So much in this world I believe God created to show us His Kingdom, to reflect how He wants us to be with Him, faithful, intimate, committed only to Him. To expose ourselves and be vulnerable, and who knows this only works when the person you are exposed to is loving, trustworthy and faithful themselves.

Politicaly Incorrect

I feel so concerned for the world today, in that we are really buying into this notion that,' If it feels good and no one seems to be getting hurt then it's ok. '

We have let our morals, standards and beliefs slide down the political correctness slope. We are being forced into silence by this 'PC' notion and it really disturbs me. Standing up for what you believe in is so frowned upon. We are being taught to Accept and Tolerate, when we need to be speaking up for righteousness .
Righteousness, Justice, Honour are all becoming curse words in society. It's like ' How dare you tell me what is right and wrong!'

So then what is to become the new 'PC' standard of Right and Wrong? Who is in charge of this new benchmark?

We are led to believe that marriage is temporary at best, children are disposable and God serves us.

Well, I will not be silenced. Marriage is a sacred bond between a Man and a Woman. It is a covenant union Under God and established by God to display His Kingdom, Love and ways on earth .It was made to protect us and bless us by Him who LOVES us.

Children are a blessing, a gift from Heaven sent to show and teach us the Father's heart.
Would the world really want a God who treats us as they treat their children! God sent us children so that we could see how He loves us. To better understand His ways. Children teach us God's grace and mercy.
When my child does something wrong I dont turn away from them. I dont stop loving them. I correct them, discipline them where necessary and continue to love them. There is so much to be learned about God through the relationships He places in our lives.

He is not just a booming voice from the clouds shouting condemnation to all! He is a teacher, a healer and a Father.

And I am pretty sure He is not Politically Correct.

What?...........

Ok so I am on a bit of a band wagon this afternoon so please bear with me. I am absolutely stunned by what I am reading on the following web site
http://www.abortion.org.au/prolife.htm
So, to start with, the reason I came across this site was that I was trying to find some helpful anti- abortion links for my readers. I typed in 'Pro Life Australia', the second Link down read :

'Pro-life, anti-abortion websites and organizations in Australia

List of pro-life organizations and websites in Australia: ACT Right to Life Association http://www.actrtla.org.au/ Australasian Bioethics Association '

So I think,' ok, this will be helpful'. I enter the site only to be hit with the message,

'Pro Life Oppose Contraception'
What the heck is that about!! It turns out to be an abortion website! Where do they get off having that Pro Life, anti abortion heading!?
To say 'Pro Life Oppose Contraception' is such an inaccurate generalisation. I am a anti- abortion, which I consider pro life, Christian woman who believes in the Bible and I believe in contraception.
I don't believe, however, in the morning after pill or abortion as a form of contraception.
Now, I am aware that there are Pro Life extremists who subscribe to this however, making a generalised statement like this is completely inaccurate.

It is as ignorant as saying
' Pro Choice Think Murder Should Be Legalised'
They go even further by stating 'Pro Lifers believe Rape within marriage is ok, contraception is a SIN'!!
Oh my gosh! I couldn't even believe what I was reading.

Rape is never, EVER ok. Married or not. Jesus Christ never said rape was. ok.

See: http://www.carm.org/questions/about-sexuality/what-does-bible-say-about-rape

'Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.'Ephesians 5:25-33

Now these people either have their facts wrong or they are deliberately trying to be deceptive. Unfortunately I think it is the latter. They are taking the absolute extreme views and quoting them as mainstream belief.

For them to then say, ' For some people, fertilised eggs are more important than women'.
I think is completely inaccurate too.
I believe, NO HUMAN LIFE HAS MORE VALUE THEN ANOTHER and even if you believe one does, who has the right to decide which one that is!

Now to be fair I know that there are fundamentalist religious groups out there who support the views that this website portray. But I think lumping ALL Christians and Pro Lifers into the same boat is just wrong.

My goal is to get help for babies AND women. I have a passion to help BOTH. I don't want to rip the baby out of a woman and then leave her bloodied and dying, throw a Bible at her and send her home to a husband who rapes her. That web site might have you believe that, I, as a Christian ' pro lifer', would take that view! I want to help her find healing from whatever may be causing her to want an abortion to begin with. I want her to experience God's agape Love, healing, salvation and safety.

The God I serve is Loving, Unchanging and Just. God's heart breaks for rape victims, victims of incest and women who find themselves in fatal positions when continuing a pregnancy, just as His heart breaks for the unborn victims of abortion.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts,

always hopes,

always perseveres.


They ask "What are the REAL motivations of Pro Life?' I think instead we need to ask ourselves,
'What is the real motivations behind the people who are so opposed to pro life?.'

I meant what I said and I said what I meant, an elephant's faithful 100%.........

In the storybook version of "Horton Hears a Who," famous children's author Dr. Seuss tells the story of a community of microscopic people called "Who's" who live in "Who-ville". The world is a tiny, yet technologically advanced community of people living on a dust-speck. The jungle elephant Horton has excellent hearing that alerts him to the presence of the people, and he promises to protect them from danger.

None of the other jungle animals believe that Horton is protecting real people, however, because they can't see or hear them. Horton nevertheless risks his life to guard the dust speck, and repeats the phrase that has since become well known: "A person's a person no matter how small."

In the end, as the dust speck is about to be destroyed in the "beezlenut stew," all the Who's in Who-ville gather together and yell at the same time in order to make their voices heard. The effort fails until the very last young Who, called Jo-Jo, joins in. His little cry boosts the noise just enough for the larger animals to finally hear them and believe in their existence.

We are the only voice they have...

My Story..........

OK, so I have been putting off this post, I guess, because I have never really retold my story completely, start to finish.

Ben and I met when I was dating his friend Andrew. I was young and Andrew was the first boy I had ever been serious with. I was so in Love! ( or so I felt at the time, I have since come to experience so many more loves so much more profound, but how deep can you be at 15?!)
But it turned out fate had other plans for me and I got dumped.
In my dismay I called the only person who knew Andrew as well a I did....Ben. He came and as we talked and spent the day together, I realised how kind and caring he was and I started to forget the pain and rejection that had gripped me earlier.
We spent every day together from that day on and after a week of dating he looked me right in the eyes and said "I Love You, I really mean it." And he did!
I laughed and told him he was crazy and that you cant love someone after a week, but he was adamant that he would prove it to me.
We spent everyday together from then on and after a couple of months we moved in together. I was 16 and he was 25. We were so in love.
All I had ever wanted was to be a mum, and after MUCH convincing Ben finally gave in and I fell pregnant 3 months before my 18th birthday.
We were so excited! We bought a house and later that year our beautiful daughter was born.
Everything seemed to be perfect. Little did I realise that we were getting deep into financial debt.
I don't blame Ben, he was working so hard, running his own business and when he wasn't working I wanted him to spend all his time with us.
I was feeling insecure about my post baby body and missing the freedom of being a teenager and I was seeking constant reassurance.
As a result the book work failed to get done and tax debt piled up.
I wanted to help but I think I wasn't willing to learn how to do book work and frankly, at 18, looking at all that debt frightened the crap out of me!
So I began to go out a lot with friends. When I was out I didn't have to worry about the responsibility of owning a house and paying bills and all that stuff. I felt like a teenager .
I was a good mum and I still loved Ben however we were both guilty of just sweeping our problems under the rug.
As time went by, I found myself being more involved with my friends than with Ben. I wanted to be with them because I felt carefree, at home I just felt like I was drowning in a sea I couldn't get out of.
One night, after being out, I was trying to avoid a fight with Ben by using sex. We didn't use protection, but we agreed the next day I would take the Morning After Pill.
So first thing in the morning I went to the doctor and got it.
I didn't think any more about it until one of my friends said to me, 3 weeks later, that I was late for my period. We had all fallen into sync and all the girls had gotten theirs a week before.

The pregnancy test revealed I was pregnant. I was in shock. I didn't want to stop the lifestyle I was living. I didn't want to quit smoking. I didn't want to get fat again. I didn't want to be stuck at home all the time again. Every reason I had for not wanting to keep the baby was completely selfish.
Although we were living together, Ben and I had really grown apart, our relationship was shaky at best. Even still, he was so supportive, he said he would stand by any decision I made. My friends were the same.
The decision fell square on my shoulders. I was told "You could just think of it as a late period"
"A friend of mine had it done, you're in and out in a couple of hours"

I wish I could say that I thought long and hard about the pros, the cons, my daughter, Ben, the child growing inside me but I didn't, I thought only of my own selfish desires.
I picked up a phone book, I made an appointment, I dropped my daughter at my mum's and Ben took me to the clinic.
I signed myself in and sat down hanging my head low in shame and guilt. I saw a couple of other girls sitting casually waiting, as if waiting for a bus. I thought, " Why isn't anyone stopping me?" I thought at some point someone would say"And what is your reason?"and I would look at them dumbfounded and they would say " Not good enough!"and kick me out. But that didn't happen. They scanned me and said my baby was at 3 weeks gestational age, she asked me if I smoked or took drugs or suffered depression(I think that was my counselling?) and then I was taken to a room, laid on the operating table and told to count slowly back from 10................
When I woke I didn't feel any different, I thought I would feel empty but as it turns out the emptiness creeps upon you slowly and quietly,when you are alone or sad or scared. It comes every time you look into the eyes of your other children, it comes whenever another woman is pregnant and it is a pain that resonates through your bones.

I was taken to a computer where I was shown the scan before and after( I guess they have to prove they did it).Life and Death. Beginning and End. Good and Evil..
I cried on the way home and then I pushed it deep, deep down so I wouldn't have to see it again....
I really believed that once I had it done that it would be over. I honestly thought that I would be sad for a couple of days and then I would be OK. That is a lie we tell ourselves.
Ben and I separated not long after it happened and I moved in with one of my friends.
I spent a lot of time in a lovely place named Denial. Nice place to visit but unfortunately they don't let you stay long. They give you your walking papers and send you off to Harsh Reality.

You see, no matter how much we rationalise it, or explain it away, no matter what reasons you come up with, justified or not, the truth remains the same. Life was there and then it was gone. Just like the scan they showed me. Life then Death. Death does happen everyday that is a fact but what is worse than a death in your family? Your own child? At your own hands? Let me tell you friends. Nothing. Nothing is worse than that.
You wont ever regret the choice of Life but the choice of Death is one that at some point we will be held accountable for. We aren't accountable for what is done to us, only how we respond. God can take a negative and turn it into a positive.
Ben and I have since reconciled, found Jesus, gotten married and had two beautiful sons. Jesus has taken the negative and turned it into a positive. He has restored our love and our family, forgiven us for our choice and he is continually healing our hearts and our own relationship.
I don't feel judgement, fear, guilt or shame anymore. I know I am forgiven. It will be a long time before it doesn't hurt anymore, if ever, but I know that Jesus's blood is what has redeemed me from this crime. All he asked was that I lay it at his feet and ask to be forgiven. I didn't have to beg or grovel, I just had to mean it and He welcomed me with open arms. I am safe and loved and healing.

I thank you for taking the time to read this, there is so much more I could say but that will have to wait for another time because now I have 3 angels to kiss and tuck into bed.

Incomplete.....

As I look over my beautiful family as they sleep I cant help but feel that there is one set of blankets that I dont get to tuck in, one forehead I dont get to kiss, one missing........

I know that I am the one who is missing out, I know that my baby is waiting for me in Heaven, I know she is safe, it is really me who is suffering not her.

I have been there, been in the position of thinking ' This is just not the right time' 'It isn't really a baby yet anyway' 'It is so easy to make it go away'

If someone, One Person had the courage to stand up and say, 'Not your timing, but His' 'It is a baby from the moment of conception' 'You will never be able to take it back' perhaps my home would feel complete.

I love my family, I love my babies I want to be someones One Person...............